Its been months since i last updated my blog. like.whatever happened to me must've been stucked in the files of my usb. ive been typing sorts of stuffs but there wasn't a c hance these events were uploaded in this site. well i just feel that i need to say something right now. maybe because im glad, depressed, gloomy, bored or whatever.
well the truth is, i just had this big smile that i gave to someone. the events that happened minutes ago was so not me. before when i see or talk to him im like shaking on the inside and stammering on the outside. but then when i talked to him recently, i felt like it was all cool. i just listened, talked and smiled casually, just what i do with my other friends. my two classmates passed by, and they were giving me those meaningful stares. i controlled myself , of course. i dont want to feel the old feeling again. i know those feelings are the most 'high' but then i dont need to overreact and take everything seriously.

"i know nothing will ever come between us but i still don't want to lose my connection with him. after all, he's still my friend"

its just like highschool love. and i hate it when it happens because afterwards i feel like i am slowly drifting away from him because of my feelings and actins towards him. and i dont want that to happen. i know nothing will ever come between us but i still don't want to lose my connection with him. after all, he's still my friend. and i know that all my fantasies will soon be dumped on any corner of my memory box anytime. but even if everything will change and everything might turn into what i expected or what i didn't, he will always, and still be, my ultimate prospect.